When Everybody is Naked, Only the Terrorists Will Wear Clothes
In our goverment’s misguided quest to fight terrorism, we have endured intelligence agencies monitoring our phone calls, reading our emails and mail, and suffered many assaults on our constitutional and personal rights in the name of the Patriot Act.
What better way to prove your patriotism than to give up your modesty for your country.
Not only would it speed up airline check-in, it would eliminate standing around the baggage carrousel. Everything you needed (a few clean changes of towels) could be carried in small carry-ons. And with this, the environmental impact as people save energy by having less laundry to do, less fuel used, and less air conditioning.
Other benefits would be the added respect from the people of other countries, which has been declining for 5 years. Tourism would increase to U.S. destinations when all beaches became nude beaches. Pornography would lose a lot of its appeal when people realized there is nothing sexual about nude bodies.
Robert Heinlein wrote a story of alien invasion in 1951, The Puppet Masters in which mandatory nudity was required as the only way to detect alien parasites attached to human bodies.
Imagine a world where instead of sticking patriotic flags, banners, and ribbons on our rear bumpers, we all show our patriotism by our actions.
Read the following tongue-in-cheek article for more
When Everybody is Naked, Only the Terrorists Will Wear Clothes
<a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/larry-arnstein/when-everybody-is-naked-_b_65068.html”>HuffingtonPost.com</a>
September 19, 2007
Larry Arnstein
If we were really serious about fighting terrorism in this country, everybody in a public space would be naked. Then terrorists could not conceal bombs under their clothes, anybody wearing clothes would be easily spotted and arrested, and we’d all be safe.
Oh, I’ve heard the excuses. Cold weather, for example. But let me ask: would you rather be a little chilly or be blown up? And then there’s modesty. A lot of people are not comfortable with their own bodies. Again: would you be more comfortable if your body was in a thousand pieces after an explosion? Finally, there’s the whining about where to put your keys and your i.d. Here’s my answer: in your hands! If you must wear clothes, you can do so in the privacy of your own home.
The government will not do this. Politicians won’t touch the issue. It’s going to be up to individual citizens, joining together into a vanguard to simply start removing their clothes in public. Once the example is set, others will follow, and soon all but the terrorists will be naked as jaybirds.
Some would advocate a gradual transition. Start by removing coats, jackets, shirts and sweaters, until full, frontal nudity is the norm. I don’t favor this approach. Personally, I’d rather just get it over with, like jumping into a clear mountain lake, a bit uncomfortable at first, but then it’s fine.
It will probably fall to readers of the Huffington Post, more intelligent and also more physically attractive than the general public, to get the ball rolling. So, what are you waiting for?
Larry Arnstein is co-author, with Zack Arnstein, of “The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion - Six Incapacitating Holds Involving a Spatula and Other Ways to Protect Your family”(Santa Monica Press, September 2007.
